I thought I had this parenting thing all mapped out. Ok I can admit now I was wrong...
Not just borderline wrong. Try more along the lines of dead wrong. No wait, ok I'm over exaggerating with the dead wrong because some days I get it half right! The therapist says mothers should only on a daily basis aim for 70/30 right. Ok so I'm not quite there. As a perfectionist I can nearly say I have it perfectly wrong! Except for the days when I get it a little bit right. Are you following me? Or have I lost you.
I have a 2 year old. Now people with tell you it's the terrible two's. Ok yes, he is wanting to do everything himself, he never listens to me when I say no, or please eat your dinner, stay still when I am trying to put your nappy on, stop spitting on that child you just met, no you cannot play with the scissors. I feel like the terrible two's have been going on for a long time. If it wasn't this it was another issue, sleep, separation anxiety, teeth, screaming, sleep, sleep.. zzzz lack of I mean. I feel like I am warn down from saying no so many times. Like a mother friend said to me today 'you can never prepare yourself for someone saying blankly to your face, NO". I mean I have no idea what to do with this mini person when what I had planned in my head has been shoved in my face with a big fat 'Hell No" and may I just say it's not like it's a no with a legitimate reason behind it. It's just a simple N.O. Can someone please tell me what you are meant to do? Because I can openly say I get stumped and I revert back to the flight or fight instinct and have a hurricane fight with a 2 year old! Is it just two big toddlers having a fight? Because how do you work out who is the boss? I try to assert my authority I do but let me tell you he is good. He's like a trained Ninja. If it wasn't for him being like half my height he'd so have it ALL over me. I'd be left for dead.
When I talk to many parents I meet I am always curious to hear their stories. How do you do it? and how on earth do you keep going back for more? I keep telling myself every person, family, child/children and situation are different so you cannot compare, in which I do not but it doesn't stop me from being curious and taking notes! The majority seem to love being a mum with the classic one liner "yes it's exhausting but it's all worth it". Are you telling the truth or is it taboo to say anything but? I am hoping that exposing my wounds are not a hindrance but a help to others, or at least a good laugh. I am grateful & count my blessings everyday I have a healthy & happy child that I love dearly. Geez I shocked a woman a few weeks ago when I said "well not really" to the standard 'yes but even through all of this it is all worth it isn't it?" The look I received. haha look I love my son very much but I do often wonder how personalities that clash (as they are the same! aka mother and son) are meant to survive in harmony? Did you sit down and really know that babies come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and temperaments? Call me naïve but I certainly didn't know half of those. No one ever sat me down and said 'ok now your baby is going to be a non sleeper, he is going to not want to be held by anyone else but you, not even a swing so you can have a shower. You are going to have to sit upright while holding him sleeping, rock him to every sleep (that's x 6 per day), wake at the crack of a floor board, scream when and if you tried to leave the room and if you even think you can go to the gym and put him in the crèche oh haha woman you have another thing coming. Let me just say I was shocked.
When I said the other day to a grandmother "it's taken me two years but I think I am starting to enjoy this and slowly getting the hang of it" she replied with "careful they can hear everything and you'll be footing the therapy bill years down the track when he is working out feelings of unwantedness". Haha well he owes me hundreds already so by about that time we should be even lol.
I just put it down to that's life. Charlie and I have lots of fun together, he's my boy, we do many activities, we sing, we love, I get cuddles when I am given them (when he's sooky), I try my best not to rouse more than 8 times a day and I am there for him whenever he needs me, but he is still learning and for me, well I am definitely still in school.